Okay, I am feeling an emotional tide inside this morning. Mark has been running a low-grade fever all week. I wasn't feeling so hot myself on Monday, so we took it easy around the house after canceling our morning plans. We were just doing run-of-the-mill household chores, like washing clothes and running the dishwasher. I let the children watch about an hour's worth of Curious George in the morning, which is not our normal mode of operation, and they were especially pleased.
About 11 am, I was feeling the need for fresh air, so we headed outside for a walk. I have been trying to cultivate an appreciation for the little things in each day. That day, we noticed the dandelions and the blossoms on the trees and a bright green caterpillar that we found climbing on Mark's hand.
Right after lunch, Mark went down for a long, long nap. After Nathan's quiet time, I was helping him get shoes on so he could play outside. He looked up at me and said, "Mama, thank you for being so kind to me today." What grace that he'd say those words to me, when I usually feel like I am trying to hide my irritability or impatience from moment to moment.
Yesterday was more of the same, with a walk in the morning and a little bit of outdoor playtime. We found a bird's nest in a neighbor's yard. Mark touched the cedar trees that branch out along the sidewalk. Nathan ran from mailbox to mailbox with great delight.
I am currently looking for mealtime inspiration, and had spent a good bit of time trying to figure out what to cook for dinner using what we had on hand (since a trip to the grocery store had been halted by Mark's being under the weather). Sometime mid-afternoon, I finally settled on making eggs, bacon and grits. Breakfast food is comfort food for me. It has everything to do with how my Dad made breakfast for us every Saturday morning, and a lot of egg sandwiches for supper on Sunday nights. I love it and always feel good when I eat it. So, we enjoyed our meal while Greg was teaching class, and the boys went to bed nicely and easily.
Mark's sweet slumber was interrupted a few hours later, when he woke up feverish and breathing heavily. He was clingy and crying and wanting to be held. After some medicine, we ended up in the rocking chair for a little while, where he snuggled on my chest with his blue blanket and "honey dog." He sucks his thumb and touches the blue blanket with the other fingers...very sweet, and very much still like a baby. As I was holding my independent, strong-willed and strong-bodied, giggly, fearless little one, I saw a different side of him. Psalm 6:2a says, "Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak." Lord, help me to see my children as you see them, and refresh my love for them daily.
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