Messy (Cyber) Monday

It's the Monday after Thanksgiving and the house is partially decorated for Christmas. I am having to tell myself it's okay that I left some ornaments in the box this year, and I still need to display the nativity and Advent candles.

The compulsive part of me really wants to have everything in its place and have a perfect plan for all of the beautiful, wonderful, special and fun things we'll do in these days leading up to Christmas.

I like the way Thanksgiving was relatively idealistic this year. The weather was pretty, the kids were generally well-mannered, and I had lots of time to enjoy the company of my family.

I even had a good hair day.


Nanny made Nathan smile after some parking lot tears.


PopPop charmed Mark into behaving at the dinner table.


And then he pushed the boys as high as the sky.


Mom, Aunt Linda and I relaxed on the deck and chatted.


But today is Monday.

I don't like the mess of real life sometimes. I get weary of correcting children who don't listen, sass me, jump off of beds, and pee-pee in plastic lids while at other people's houses. (True story - Mark did it this morning.)

Just today, I screamed at the kids when they slammed their doors after being sent to their rooms as punishment for hitting each other. It didn't fit my idealistic image of how children should behave during the holidays. I want kids who act peaceful, kind, loving, agreeable.

In that moment, I was irritated by their expression of anger. My expression was far worse, though, because I have had years to grow in self-control. I should know better.

I look at myself and see how ungracious, impatient and short-sighted I am. I need to rest in Christ's perfection and grace.

These verses often come to mind when I am confronted by my personal failings. I am glad to have them at my frequent disposal. It's good to know that as often as I mess up, He always understands and is quick to forgive.

The Lord is merciful and gracious; he is slow to get angry and full of unfailing love.
He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever.
He has not punished us for all our sins, nor does he deal with us as we deserve.
For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
He has removed our rebellious acts away from us as the east is from the west.
The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.
For he understands how weak we are; he knows we are only dust.
Psalm 103:8-14

Friend for Life

She came for a quick visit, but she brought with her a childhood of memories. More than thirty years ago, God brought Monica into my life.


It was because of our mothers' friendship that we spent our earliest birthdays together. From those days on, our friendship blossomed into a life of its own.

And I am so thankful to be able to say that it is still growing.

I found myself transported through time as we spent a couple of days watching our children giggling and playing (and raking leaves) together.

The four of them had their moments of hurt feelings and sulky faces, but by and large, they loved each other.


It was like catching a little glimpse of Monica and myself so many years ago, laughing and playing and figuring out what made the other one tick.

It's hard to put into words just how well I know and love Monica. We find certain things hilarious just because of the history of funny moments we've shared. She taught my kids to tell knock-knock jokes this weekend - so like Monica to infuse any home with giggles and good humor!

A shared childhood is a beautiful treasure, and it has served us well in the challenges and joys of adulthood. I love the roots I share with Monica, and the way our lives are still entwined over the miles. I love how she loves my kids, and I love hers like they're my own. What a precious early Thanksgiving gift.

Outdoor Birthday Party

Thank you, God, for fall babies and outdoor birthday parties!






Right now, I am thankful for chocolate chip pan cookies baking in the oven - hopefully just as delicious and chewy as a cookie, but more like an easy brownie to prepare.

I am thankful for the adventure of elevator rides in the mall, where both boys are in awe of the up and down motion, especially when they can look out the glass windows.

I am thankful for a "supermom" moment when I was able to back-track down the escalator to comfort Nathan, who got scared of the narrow steps and didn't get on behind me and Mark.

I am thankful for the wind chimes singing in the rainy breeze.

I am thankful for this scripture that I rediscovered this morning (Psalm 16:5-8):

Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
You guard all that is mine.
The land you have given me is a pleasant land.
What a wonderful inheritance!

I will bless the Lord who guides me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.

I also love the New Living Translation of Isaiah 40:11:

He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in his arms, holding them close to his heart. He will gently lead the mother sheep with their young.

Oh, how He knows my every concern and my tendency toward bewilderment. He knows the path ahead of our family, and He will guide our every step. That is reason for thanksgiving.

A Warm Day in November

Thank you, God, for the warmth of the sun and the leaves falling like rain. Thank you for the boy who ran bare-chested on the greenway, and the boy who ran to each bench to take a break. Thank you for little hands that are able to toss and catch balls. Thank you for the little voice that thanked me for washing and putting away his pajamas last night - that was enough to last me a lifetime of laundry! Thank you for the joy of words. For me, words tie together the experiences and emotions of the day. They help me connect to the past while I'm being moved forward through the changes of life.

Teach us to make the most of our time, so that we may grow in wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Clarification

On Wednesday, November 9, 2011, I attempted to post a link to an article I had read in The Charlotte Observer entitled "Seeing the world through grateful eyes," by Lynne Hinton.

I have to apologize for the confusion over the way I introduced the link (which apparently didn't work after a day or so) because it sounded like my blog post had been published in the newspaper, when in fact, it has not! I did not mean to mislead anyone as to the author of that wonderful column. I was in a hurry to publish the post and didn't think carefully about the way that wording would come across.

Anyway, please go search on The Charlotte Observer's website for this article if you haven't already read it, because it was particularly moving.

90 Years

~Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.~ Psalm 90:14

She has been alive for 90 years. She has seen the seasons come and go. Her memories, when she could retrieve them, reached to the days before WWII. She and her husband raised two children, and she survived lung cancer to meet both of her great-grandchildren.


When I was pregnant with Nathan and still working, I would drive over and meet her for dinner at her retirement home. She would tell me stories of her own pregnancies and the early days of life with her babies. She had loved being pregnant, and always complimented my growing belly.


I felt so steady and confident about becoming a mother as I shared this anticipation with her - she had walked this path decades before me, and could still speak of the indescribable joy and fullness of carrying a child. Her eyes glowed as she remembered.


Her memories are softer and further removed now, and she struggles for words. She is gently slipping into Alzheimer's Disease and old age, yet that light is still in her eyes when the boys come near. Our visits are more frequent and brief, but still a blessing to me. I am thankful for the season of adult friendship I shared with Grandma. I am thankful for her love for and satisfaction in the Lord. I am thankful for her generosity and strength. I am thankful for her selfless concern for others. I am thankful for her whispers of love to my sons.


I am thankful for memories shared.

Leaves and a link

This seems trite, but I am thankful for the colorful leaves that come with the change in seasons. It's such a beautiful way to say goodbye to summer. Everywhere I turn, I see brilliant shades of red, gold, rust, and orange.


Father, thank you for our spontaneous visit to the park and greenway yesterday morning. The way the sun fell through the yellow leaves onto my boys spinning around on the merry-go-round was just golden. We discovered a new path through the woods, and the boys you have given me said they wanted to walk for miles and miles, hours and hours. We sat, watched, and listened to leaves falling to the ground. The boys played "stop and go" and ran along the path all the way back, just like my sisters and I used to do on the dirt roads around our neighborhood.


Thank you for the sun-filled den with windows all around. My babies used to lie in the cradle and look up through the skylights or out the windows and see the ever-changing wonder of the sky and trees. I have taken many a nap or cup of tea under the colorful canopy you created. You are good to me.

Switching gears...

I read a wonderful article that was published in The Charlotte Observer on Saturday, November 5, 2011. It was entitled "Seeing the world through grateful eyes" by Lynne Hinton. If you search The Charlotte Observer's website, you can probably find the link and read the piece - I have had problems linking it to this blog but it's definitely worth the search!

Days of Thanks

I am going to attempt to blog about things I am thankful for in the days leading up to Thanksgiving. Here is my first post of thanks.

A pot of hamburger vegetable soup simmering on the stovetop, made from the bounty of our pantry and refrigerator

The golden leaves on the trees outside

The big brown leaf Mark brought me to look at

The boys playing in the playhouse

Bouncy, giggling brothers making mischief in the grocery store

(My friend lost her teenage son in a tragic accident this summer. I have found myself counting the blessings of my boys in daily life as I have watched her walk through this loss. One of her favorite scriptures is Lamentations 3:22-23, “The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day.”)

Lord, you saw my friend’s family rise in worship yesterday, full of the hope of heaven when they will see their son and brother alive and whole again. What unshakable faith. What a different reality from the one I live in from day to day. It made me weep and stand with them, hands lifted up.

You order all of our days. You are eternal. We are frail and fleeting as the flowers.

I just finished a week of celebrating the lives of my two little boys at ages three and five. I delighted in seeing them swing with their friends and smile in the light of their birthday candles. Thank you for their laughter, for their antics in the grocery store, for their tenderness, for their tears when they leap from the swing and land hard on the ground. Thank you for the toilet filled to overflowing with tissue. Thank you for the shrub pruned by little hands preparing to “cook” something together in the playhouse. Thank you for the clippings of paper on the floor and the colored pictures that cover my kitchen windows. Thank you for the little voice that asks, “How many more minutes of quiet time?”

Warmth of the fall sunshine

Birthday Number Five

Tonight at bath time, Nathan counted to 110. He and his Daddy hung star stickers on his ceiling this afternoon, and he is so excited to see them glow. He likes to be in warm pajamas. He snuggled with me under cozy blankets in the living room chair after the birthday party today. He frequently asks me, "Tell me everything you know, Mama." He delights in swinging as high as he possibly can, all by himself. He shoots spinning helicopters down from the top of the stairs and squirts his brother in the tub. He can quote more scripture than I could at his age, and reminds us not to be afraid because God is here. He wants to pray for safety when we're traveling. He watches the stars and is happiest of all when he is outside.


His warm, brown eyes light up and twinkle. He asked for strawberry chocolate cake for his birthday. He still loves to be picked up. He gives great hugs and kisses. He doesn't want to grow up and have to go to school. I understand - I will miss him, too. He is inquisitive, sensitive, attentive, loving.


He is family-oriented. He has an incredible memory and loves to listen to stories and music. He loves to race with his brother. He "teaches" me the alphabet in the mornings. He loves to create. He made me a mother, and I can still remember the smell of his little head and how he fit in the crook of my arm and how he was so warm and snug all swaddled up in a blanket. And now he's five.